hey, its not always going to be like this! you can get better and lead a 'normal' life. its not impossible and you can do it like i have. lets chat and figure out some strategies because i know what its like to feel so stuck and helpless x
Iv lost everything that ever mad me happy, I have nothing left, nothif to live for
Iv had a turn around. last night as I injected pills I thought only about myself. but what if I never got the chance to find out what it’s like to marry the boy Iv been with for the past year and a half. Iv never loved someone the way I love him. he has taught me so much about life and even myself. life gets hard but I know I have him. at times I may take everything for granted but it all hit me. I could lose everything. have it all taken away but I know no matter what.. my boyfriend will always be there. he accepts me for who I am, even in my darkest moments. maybe someday he’ll leave me. but I know I wouldn’t be alive without him. I think about myself and only myself in my moments of weakness, but there’s always a voice in my head that tells me I’m so stupid to just want to throw it all away. I have such big dreams about my future, I want them so bad. but its hard and I know that. I’m going to work my ass off. to be a good daughter,friend, and most of all girlfriend. my boyfriend is one of the most amazing guys possible. I am one lucky girl , I need to realize it more. I love you to the moon and back nick. and I’m sorry for how I am right now. you know me better then anyone. this isn’t me. but I’m working hard. just have faith in me and don’t lose it. your my cheering squad, my biggest fan and supporter. honestly I couldnt do it without you. your hard on me sometimes. but it teaches me to be strong. I’m been strong for so long I forgot what being strong meant. just like in the notebook when Noah say “So, it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? Thirty years from now, forty years from now? What’s it look like?” …..he’s right it’s not going to be easy but I’m willing to put it in hard work and do what I have to, to not only get better but to make you happy. thirty years from now, I see us together with a beautiful family. 2 boys and a girl just like we talked about. your my forever. and I know it doesn’t always seem like your number one but you are. you know my accident and you know what’s going on in my head but I’m working. I need you right by my side. and I know you’ll be there. I’m sorry for the fighting the past few days. and I’m sorry for getting you frustrated, but I’m turning a new leaf. I promise from here on out. I’ll be that cute up your but girlfriend. because I miss her. once Tuesday is over I could forget about my accident for awhile. be ready to wake up to a cute text, cause I felt like this wasn’t enough.
